Decking the Halls
by Neuropsych
Summary: A non-Campers! Christmas story... Just because... (FINISHED)
1. 01

**Decking the halls**

_Disclaimer: I don't own SG-1 or any of that. I just use them for my own amusements and that of others._

_Author's Note: This is NOT a Campers! story_

OOOOOOOOO

"Come on, Jack, it's for a good cause…"

"Daniel. No."

"It's _important_."

"No."

"Come on… We'll find you a great suit... no one will even know…"

"What's going on?"

"Daniel wants me to dress up as Santa Clause."

Sam hid her smile at that particular image.

"What on Earth for?"

"An orphanage Christmas party." Daniel told her.

She looked at O'Neill, surprised.

"You're not willing to dress up like Santa for _orphans_?"

Jack scowled. It sure sounded a lot worse when she put it like that.

"It's not that I don't _want_ to, Carter… it's just that…"

"You don't want to."

"Yeah."

"Beneath your dignity?" She asked with an arched brow.

He sighed, and shook his head.

"Of course not. I just don't… like being around kids at Christmas, okay? It brings back a lot of memories…"

Sam and Daniel both knew what he meant immediately, and Daniel had to admit he hadn't even considered that Jack might not want to do it because of memories of the Christmas holidays spent with his son.

"I'm sorry, Jack," he said, instantly contrite. "I didn't even think about it bringing back bad memories of-"

"Not _bad_ memories, Daniel," O'Neill corrected. "Great memories. Some of the best I ever had…" His eyes grew slightly distant for a moment, and then incredibly sad. "But it reminds me that I won't have…" he cut himself off, and shook his head, realizing he was giving away far more of his feelings than he was intending to. His eyes lost their distant look – although a bit of the sadness remained, Sam saw. "I just don't…"

"Some of these kids don't have _any_ good memories, Jack…" Daniel said, softly. "I know what that can be like… This is important…"

Which was a reminder to Jack of just how rough Daniel had had it as a child, too.

O'Neill sighed, but knew that he was going to say yes. Because Daniel was right. It _was_ for a good cause. And he couldn't live with himself for turning down a chance to make some kid happy for a little while. Even if it meant dressing up like Santa and facing his own demons for an evening.

"If I'm going to do this, I'm not going to go alone."

"No, I'll go with you."

"You and Carter and Teal'c."

"What?" Sam frowned.

O'Neill looked over at her.

"You're not willing to give some of your free time for orphans?" He asked, shooting her words right back at her.

"Well… I didn't say that… I was just caught off guard. I mean… of course I'll come."

"You can be my elves."

Daniel frowned.

"I was thinking I could be the candy passer person."

"You _can_ be," Jack assured him. "Only you can be the candy passer person who passes out candy dressed in tights."

"How tight of tights are we talking about?" Carter asked, skeptically. She'd seen some of those women elf costumes, and even if she _had_ that much cleavage, she wasn't willing to show all that much of it.

"They're _kids_, Carter." Jack reminded her. "They're not going to be looking at you; they're going to be looking for candy and presents."

Now that he'd decided to do it, he was going to do it right. Which meant a ton of candy, and lots of toys.

"Christmas Eve, Daniel?" He asked.

Daniel nodded. What other day would it be?

"Then we have a week to gather up as many toys and candy as we can find," Jack told them.

"There's a lot of people on base," Sam said, shrugging. "We can make it a project."

"We can order them to give us toys," Jack said, steepling his fingers and leaning back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling.

Probably figuring out how to word the order, Sam thought to herself, shaking her head.

"I think if we _ask_, they'll be willing to give, Colonel."

"But if we _order_, then we-"

"Sir."

Jack looked over at her. And scowled.

"Fine. We'll _ask_."

"Speaking of _asking_…" Daniel said, catching both their attentions. "We need to let Teal'c know Jack here has just volunteered him to be an elf."

"Teal'c's a good guy," Jack said, shrugging. "He won't mind."

"So you're going to talk to him?"

"It's your project, Daniel. You go talk to him. I have to go find a Santa suit."

Daniel frowned.

"But-"

He looked at Sam, who shook her head.

"Nope. I'm going to go write out a memo asking for donations. You're on your own."

"What ever happened to team unity?" Daniel asked, scowling. "Whatever happened to all for one, and one for all…?"

"I'm all for you being the one who talks to Teal'c," Jack said.

"Me, too," Sam agreed.

"That's not the same thing."

"It's close enough."

Jack stood up. He had a mission, and with only a week before Christmas, he knew he'd better get to it, or he wasn't going to find a decent Santa suit.


	2. 02

"I do not want to be an elf, Daniel Jackson…"

Daniel frowned.

"It's for a good cause, Teal'c."

The Jaffa crossed his arms over his chest, which Daniel knew by now was the stance he used when he was at his most stubborn.

"I have seen the elves on the TV commercials…"

"Those are _Keebler_ elves, Teal'c – it's not the same as _Santa's_ elves…"

Teal'c simply scowled, and Daniel knew he wasn't going to convince him of the difference. He sighed, trying to think of-

"How about if you don't have to be an elf? Would you come, then?"

The Jaffa looked instantly suspicious.

"What would I be?"

"A reindeer?"

Teal'c scowled again.

"Okay. Okay. I'll come up with a costume for you that is _human_ – okay? No one will even know it's you, and the kids would really appreciate it."

"Human?"

Daniel nodded.

"Fine. I will come to your Christmas function." If that was what it took to get him to stop asking him to come. At least he didn't have to be a reindeer or an elf. Crazy humans and their odd traditions.

"Great! It's on Christmas Eve, and I'll pick you up at 4."

"I will be here." Unless they were called off on a mission – and Teal'c could only hope that they were.

"I'm going to go see how Sam's coming on her memo," Daniel said, smiling in relief. If Teal'c hadn't come, Jack probably would have changed his mind, and that just wouldn't do. "Then I'll go find you a costume."

"A _human_ costume," Teal'c reminded him.

"Yep."

Daniel left the room, wondering what on earth he could find for Teal'c to be.

OOOOOOOOOOO

If there was one thing that could be said about the people who worked in Cheyenne Mountain, it was that when they had a project, they went at it with both barrels. Then, add in the fact that it was for a good cause, they really went crazy. Toss into the mix the fact that Jack O'Neill was hounding everyone to outdo each other, and the efforts that were impressive already turned into monumental, and by the time Christmas Eve came around there were literally tons of toys and candy for the Christmas party at the orphanage that Daniel had picked out as his own Christmas project. Also donated had been a fair amount of cash – which could always be put to good use.

So many toys, in fact, that there was no way they'd need even half of them for the place they were going – so O'Neill sent a group of volunteers off to a couple of other charities in town – homeless shelters and battered women's shelters – places where there were definitely kids who could use a cheerful surprise. Then he'd had Davis and a handful of Marines gather the toys into a personnel carrier, and he'd gone into the locker room to get changed into his costume.

And found Daniel hiding in there.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

"Who are you hiding from?"

"What makes you think I'm hiding from anyone?"

"Because you about jumped out of your skin when I walked through the door, and you're wearing a guilty-"

"Teal'c."

"What?"

"He's a little… upset with me."

"Why?"

"Because he doesn't like the costume I got him."

"He's not an elf, is he?" Jack asked. "You know he said he wanted a human costume…"

Daniel nodded.

"I know."

"He's not a reindeer?"

"No."

"A snowman?"

Daniel shook his head.

"Then what-"

The door to the locker room opened with a bang, and Teal'c came walking in, wearing the absolute last costume Jack would have expected to see him in. A long red robe – it _wasn't_ a dress – trimmed with white faux fur, a gray old woman wig with the hair done up in a tight bun (and which covered the seal on his forehead perfectly), and a pair of red tights that could only barely be seen – and then only when Teal'c took a step – and a pair of wire-rimmed spectacles finished out the costume. Someone had stuffed his robe so he was just as chunky as Jack would end up looking, but they'd also stuffed the top half of the robe as well – giving him a decidedly feminine and grandmotherly shape that was completely offset by the thunderous scowl on his face.

"Say hello to Mrs. Clause…" Daniel said, positioning himself slightly behind Jack, who couldn't stop staring at Teal'c.


	3. 03

"I am _not_ happy…"

Jack couldn't help himself – he snickered.

Teal'c glared at him.

"This is not what I-"

"It was the _only_ costume they had left that would fit you Teal'c," Daniel said, defensively, and still hiding behind Jack. "It was that or an elf – and you told me you didn't want to be an elf."

"I did not want to be O'Neill's wife, either, Daniel Jackson."

"Hey. Not _my_ wife," Jack said, putting his hand up. "Mrs. Clause. _Santa's_ wife. I'm just representing the big guy for the night…"

"I still have an elf suit that-"

A snort of amusement from the door interrupted Daniel and all three of them turned to see Sam at the entrance, her eyes on Teal'c and her hand in front of her mouth as if to hold back another laugh.

Teal'c scowled, and looked over at Daniel, plainly telling him that he'd better fix things, or he was a dead man.

"What have they done to you, Teal'c?" Sam asked, walking into the locker room. "You look so…"

"Adorable?" Jack interjected.

"Noble?" Daniel added.

"Gay."

Jack couldn't help but smile again. There were so many ways that could be taken – although he'd _assume_ she meant festive.

"This is the only costume Daniel Jackson could find for me," Teal'c told Sam, still scowling as she walked over to stand by Jack.

"Where's your costume, Carter?" O'Neill asked.

"I just haven't put it on, yet, Sir. Where's yours?"

"I was getting ready to change when I was interrupted by the arrival of the little woman…"

Teal'c made a noise deep in his throat, and the thunderous expression he tossed at Daniel made the Archeologist squirm.

"You could be an elf, Teal'c," Daniel suggested, lamely. "I have the costume…"

"Hey! I _want_ a Mrs. Clause," Jack protested. "There are a lot of toys to be handed out."

"Major Carter can wear my outfit," Teal'c suggested, pulling off the wig and handing it to Sam, who looked at it, dumbly. "I will be an elf."

"Wait a minute," Sam said, looking at Daniel and Jack. "I'm supposed to be an elf-"

"Children…" Jack held up his hands to stop them all. "Teal'c? Carter? You can't _both_ be elves. One of you has to be Mrs. Clause. Figure it out."

Teal'c looked at Daniel.

"Convince her to allow me to be the elf, Daniel Jackson…" His tone clearly added 'or else…' even though no one actually heard the words.

Daniel looked at Sam, his blue eyes pleading with her.

"Come on, Sam… just this once…?"

She sighed, and looked down at the wig.

"Fine."

Teal'c started pulling off the robe, revealing that there were pouches to hold the stuffing that had made him look so chunky. That was convenient, because it would work just as well for Sam.

"You can keep your tights," Carter told him. "I'll just wear the ones I was going to wear for my elf costume." Luckily, they were red. Besides, Teal'c's wouldn't fit her, anyways.

"Give us a few minutes to get changed, and you can have the locker room," Jack told Sam. She nodded and left, and Daniel breathed a sigh of relief. He'd probably live to see the morning, after all.

Jack smiled, and reached into his locker for the Santa suit that had been hanging there for the last couple of days.

OOOOOOOO

"That's a little better…"

Teal'c was still scowling, but he had to admit that O'Neill was correct. It was far more comfortable to be in an elf suit than in a Mrs. Clause suit. Well, no. Not more _comfortable_. Just _less_ uncomfortable.

"You're going to have to work on that smile, Teal'c," Daniel said, putting on his elf hat at a jaunty angle, and handing Teal'c his own. "We're cheerful, happy elves, not brooding, glaring, moody elves."

"I am a Jaffa elf," Teal'c said, gathering what little dignity he had left and drawing himself up to his full imposing height. "I am not-"

"Come on, Teal'c," Jack told him, adjusting the red hat he was wearing and brushing his long, curly white hair back away from his face. "It's only going to be for the night – and then you can make Daniel make it up to you. Think of the kids… we don't want them peeing themselves when they see you. I know I don't, anyways – especially if they're going to be sitting in my lap."

Teal'c scowled, glaring at Daniel once more, and then making a resigned noise deep in his chest.

"Fine. I will endeavor to be a… _cheerful_… elf. For the evening."

"That's the spirit."

Jack slapped his thighs and stood up, "Come on, let's clear the room for Carter so she can get changed and we can get going."

Places to go, people to see, little kids to fill up with sugar before bedtime.

OOOOOOOO

Carter was lounging against the wall outside the locker room when they made their appearance, and her blue eyes danced with amusement. Oh, God, they were all adorable. Daniel's elf costume was the best – probably because he looked most comfortable in his. Green tights that weren't too tight, a cheerfully decorated elf jacket that hung to about mid-thigh and boots that had curled up toes on them with little bells on the tips.

Teal'c looked like a mutant Keebler elf gone bad, she thought – to herself – although she couldn't help but grin when she saw him. His outfit was similar to Daniel's – although his massive shoulders strained the fabric of his jacket, and his elf jacket didn't hang down so low on him as Daniel's did on him. Of course, Teal'c was a lot bigger than Daniel, so that certainly had something to do with it. His hat was set on his head perfectly straight, and the tip hung down between his eyes with a little bell dangling from it that jingled merrily each time he moved his head. Far more cheerful than the expression on his face, anyways.

Jack's costume looked good on him, Sam had to admit. The outfit was red leather with fake fur lining, and a wide leather belt that had afake belly hanging over it. His Santa hat was just as jaunty as Daniel's elf hat, and looked just as cheerful, and even the heavy beard and all the curly hair didn't hide the gleam of good humor in his soft, brown eyes. He hadn't wanted to do this, but he had said he would, and he was going to make the most of it.

"You guys look great," she told them, meaning it. "We should get a picture."

"No we should not," Teal'c said, scowling.

Jack smiled, and gestured towards the locker room with one white-gloved hand.

"Go get dressed, Carter. Santa needs his missus."

And she was a lot better looking than Teal'c was.


	4. 04

It was their turn to smile fifteen minutes later when Sam walked out of the locker room. The Mrs. Clause suit looked a lot better on her than it did on Teal'c, even though it was a little – okay, a _lot_ – baggy on her. The robe actually _looked_ like a dress on her, and her much gentler features – and lack of a scowl – pulled off the whole Mrs. Clause thing a lot better than Teal'c's had.

O'Neill's smile was warm, and Sam found herself posing slightly as she walked out the door.

"You look great, Major."

She blushed a little, and smiled.

"Thanks, Sir."

Daniel had to agree, but he looked at his watch and realized that the change of costumes had thrown them just a little behind the schedule he had in his mind – they weren't late, but they weren't as ahead as he wanted them to be.

"We'd better get going."

The others nodded, and they headed for the elevator.

They received a lot of odd looks and smiles as they walked through the SGC corridors, but no one had the nerve to actually laugh at them or say any of the comments that were undoubtedly on the tips of their tongues. Even in an elf suit Teal'c was intimidating, and the moment someone looked like they planned on saying something smart the Jaffa would give them a _look_ that would immediately make them change their minds. Getting beat up by an elf on Christmas Eve was no one's idea of a good time.

The personnel carrier was stuffed with toys and candy, and ready to go at the main gate, complete with a couple of Marines – one to drive it and one to ride shotgun, because Marines never did anything alone if they could do it in a group. Jack had Daniel give them directions to the orphanage, and then he had the others pile into his truck and they headed out, the day already fast turning into evening, and a group of eager youngsters waiting for Santa and his elves to bring them treats and presents.

OOOOOOOOOO

"How are you doing?"

Jack looked over at Mrs. Clause, who had stopped beside him just long enough to take a quick break from the screaming, shouting and hyper children that had been running around her, shouting for her attention and begging her to tell Santa that he absolutely _had_ to bring them what they asked for.

Jack smiled at her as Teal'c pulled yet another child off his lap, and replaced him with a squirming little girl who couldn't have been more than five.

"Doing great, Carter," he said, before wrapping his arms around the little girl to keep her from tumbling off his lap. "Ho! Ho! Ho!" Sam smiled as he turned his attention from her to the little girl, and stayed beside him, taking advantage of his distraction to watch him interact with the little girl. "What do you want for Christmas?"

"A pony!"

"A _pony_?" Jack pretended to sound amazed – although this was about the twentieth pony he'd had requested that night. Little girls always wanted ponies for some reason. "What color?"

"Blue!"

"A blue pony…" Jack pretended to think about it, and looked over at Sam, who was smiling broadly now. "Mrs. Clause? Do we have any more blue ponies at the North Pole?"

Sam shook her head.

"No, Santa. We're all out."

Jack turned his attention back to the girl, giving her a hug.

"Well… it might be hard to find you a blue pony, but I promise I'll try. If I don't find you one, what else would you like instead?"

"A Barbie with the doctor's outfit and the long blonde hair that you can cut and style and the four different outfits – I want the blue outfit with the short dress, and the jacket, and I want the red outfit that has…"

As the little girl recited her list of the various outfits that the Barbie was supposed to have, Sam couldn't help but be impressed by Jack's patience with her. Gone was the man who couldn't sit through a five minute meeting. In his place was a guy who was more than willing to discuss the difference between the blonde hair Barbie and her dark haired cousin for what seemed to be at least fifteen minutes. When he finally motioned for Teal'c to take the little girl – with a promise that he'd do his best to get her exactly what she wanted – Sam was grinning ear to ear. And Jack noticed.

"What?"

"Nothing."

He scowled, which only made her smile grow. He didn't look all that imposing in a Santa suit, after all, and she couldn't be intimidated.

"Carter…" His voice wasn't nearly as annoyed as he was trying to sound, though, and she handed the little girl a candy cane and sent her off to find a present under the tree. With the help of Daniel, who knew from the color-coding of the packaging what present would be perfect for a five-year-old girl.

"That's Mrs. Clause, Santa," she corrected him, watching as Teal'c plopped another kid onto Jack's lap. A little boy with huge blue eyes and a face smeared with chocolate. "I'd better go help with the refreshments."

"You do that."

He watched her go, though; his brown eyes smiling as she walked away, and even the little boy in his lap was distracted from running his sticky fingers along Jack's red and white jacket as he tried to figure out what Santa Clause found so interesting about Mrs. Cause.

He had to admit that even though he hadn't wanted to do it, Jack was having a good time. He liked kids, loved watching them run around and have a good time, and was thoroughly enjoying hearing their wish lists. While most of the things on the lists were impossible – there was no way he was giving a ten year old a rocket launcher or a space shuttle – many of them were completely doable, and many were already under the tree, so he'd known there were going to be a lot of happy kids. Add in the bright and festive decorations and the cheerful Christmas music playing in the background, and he was having a much better Christmas Eve than he'd planned on having.

"That is the last of them, O'Neill," Teal'c told him as he pulled the boy off Jack's lap and handed him a candy cane and sent him on his way to Daniel and the Christmas tree with a less than gentle shove – which for Teal'c actually _was_ a gentle shove.

"Thanks, Teal'c." Jack said, standing up and stretching his legs. He looked at his watch, surprised by how late it was. At this rate, the kids were never going to go to sleep, since he was pretty certain there was more sugar in their little bodies than blood at that moment. "This wasn't so bad, huh?"

The look Teal'c gave Jack plainly said that it wasn't so great, but the Jaffa didn't argue with him. Not with kids within earshot.

Sam came over to them, holding a couple cups of kool-aid and handed one to each of them.

"Are we about ready to call it a night?" she asked as Jack quaffed his cup of juice. Talking to kids non-stop definitely made him thirsty.

"I think so," Jack answered as Daniel came over, grinning hugely and carrying the bags that had once held all the presents but were now hanging empty over his forearm. "About ready to go, Skippy?" Jack asked.

"We'd better," Daniel answered. "Otherwise the kids will want to start through the line a second or third time… telling Santa what they want, and hanging out with all the elves…"

"We should depart, then." Teal'c said, surprising no one.

"I'm ready to go," Sam agreed. "My feet are killing me."

"But it was fun, right?" Daniel asked, as they started to gather up the last of their equipment. "I mean, you guy had a good time, didn't you?"

"It was great, Daniel," Sam assured him. "Wasn't it Colonel?"

"Yup." Nothing like sticky fingers and faces, and he wasn't even going to mention the four 'accidents' that had definitely made cleaning his costume before returning it a necessity. "Wouldn't have missed it for the world."

"Let's go say our goodbyes, then, and get going…" Daniel was just glad that things had gone so well. With the group of people he spent most of his time with, you just never could be sure that things would turn out the way they were planned – and he had really hoped that they would this time, at least.

OOOOOOOOO

Once more they all piled into Jack's truck, but he didn't take them to the base. He dropped Teal'c and Daniel off at Daniel's place since Daniel had caught a ride with him that morning so Jack wouldn't have to drive all the way back to the base and Teal'c was going to spend the night at Daniel's. They watched until the two elves had disappeared into the apartment building, and then Jack turned to Sam, who was now sitting in the passenger seat beside him instead of the jump seat behind him.

"Do you need to go home right away?"

That wasn't a question she was expecting. Sam shook her head.

"Not really." It wasn't like she had anyone waiting for her, after all. And wasn't _that_ a depressing thought?

"Want to grab a bite to eat?"

"Sounds good."

He started the truck.


	5. 05

_Author's Note: Haha! I didn't even realize I was putting an 'e' on the end of Claus! That's what I get for watching the Santa Clause 2 so many times in the past couple weeks. I'm not going to go back and change it, but I'll try to keep from doing it again! Good catch!_

OOOOOOOOOOO

Ah, what was he _thinking_? He knew better than to invite Carter someplace with just the two of them. There was always so much tension between them. Not _bad_ tension, because it wasn't like he didn't like her. Boy did he really _not_ not like her! And he sometimes wondered just how much she didn't not like him. He knew the spark was there – and hadn't she admitted it with that little machine attached to her that one day? As much as he'd been forced to admit that he had more feelings for her than he should have. But they'd agreed to keep that in that room, right? So there shouldn't be any reason for the tension every time they were alone. And yet, it was always there, as far as he was concerned.

"Sir?"

He was jerked out of his thoughts by her voice, soft and nice – although it was lightly laced with concern at that moment.

"Sorry, Carter," he apologized. "I was just…"

"It's okay." She gave him a smile – looking so damned cute in that Mrs. Claus outfit – and patted his leg lightly with her left hand. "How did you do tonight? You looked like you were having the time of your life."

Jack smiled.

"I was. Did. I knew I'd do all right with the kids, Carter – contrary to how I act with everyone else, I actually like kids."

"But you didn't want to…"

"Because of afterwards," he told her, passing a closed restaurant and heading for another one that the team frequented. He'd seen far more closed places than he'd expected. People had to eat on Christmas Eve, right? "I figured I'd start brooding and not be able to stop."

He'd done that before. And it had taken something fairly big to snap him out of the depression that had followed. Like being recalled from retirement to join the Stargate team.

Sam realized that she probably knew why he'd asked her to dinner, then, even if he might not realize it. She was his distraction. It was going to be her job – even though he hadn't asked her to – to keep him from brooding. And she didn't mind. Feelings for him aside – and didn't they _always_ have to be aside? – she didn't have anything to do that night, anyways. Mark and his family had gone to his wife's family's house for the holidays, and her dad was off God only knew where. She would have just sat at home alone and done a little brooding of her own. He could be _her_ distraction as well, this way.

"I understand, Sir," she told him. She _did_. "We'll just have to keep you occupied so you don't have time to start brooding."

He glanced over at her, and then back at the traffic around him. There wasn't much, but he didn't want to wreck into anyone. Wouldn't _that_ be a crappy way to spend Christmas Eve?

"Thanks, Carter…"

She smiled, and they drove to the restaurant in a fairly companionable silence – with just a little tension. It was closed. All the lights were off, and the parking lot – which was usually bustling – was empty.

"I don't think we're going to find an open place to eat…" Sam said. The whole town looked deserted.

Jack looked down at himself, and then over at her, realizing that they were still in costume, and the absurdity of it all caught up to him and he smiled.

"What a sad state of things the world has come to when Santa Claus can't get his wife a proper meal on Christmas Eve…"

Carter's smile was an echo of his own, and she chuckled softly.

"Let's go back to my place, Sir. I'll feed you."

"You sure you want to do that?"

She looked at him quizzically.

"Why not?"

"People might talk. You know… the neighbors would probably wonder what the heck you were doing keeping Santa all to yourself on Christmas Eve…"

She smiled; it wasn't often he teased her, and she kind of liked it.

"We could go to your place and let your neighbors do the gossiping, but as I recall, you don't keep food in your cupboards, and I don't want a mustard sandwich for dinner."

"I _wouldn't_ give you a mustard sandwich," Jack told her, pulling out of the parking lot and aiming the truck for her place.

"Really?"

"I'm out of bread…"

OOOOOOOOOO

"Watch your step until I get a light on…"

Jack held completely still, preferring not to trip over anything and stood in the doorway until she managed to find the light switch. A second later the hallway light came on, and he squinted as he was suddenly blinded.

"Jeeze…"

"Sorry," she smiled at him and pulled him into the hallway so she could shut the door. "I thought I left the porch light on."

"Must have been too excited to get dressed up in your elfsuit."

"Something like that." She said, her blue eyes cheerful. "Take your boots off, will you? I just had the carpet cleaned."

She'd already stepped out of her own boots and was walking into the living room, the Santa robe dragging on the floor behind her.

"What do you want to eat, Sir?" she asked heading into the kitchen. "I can make an omelet, or we could have grilled cheese and soup."

He slipped out of his jacket, hanging the red leather jacket – and all the padding – up on a coat hook, then walked in his sock feet into the kitchen as well, leaning against her counter and shrugging.

"Whatever you want to make, just let me know what I can do to help."

She opened the fridge, and pulled out a block of cheese wrapped in a zip-lock baggie.

"Grate that, will you? We'll have omelets."

"Yes, Ma'am."

He took it from her and started rifling through her cupboards, looking for a cheese grater. Sam came over and reached over him, the motion bringing her right up against his shoulder, her warm body pressing against his – even though the motion was completely innocent. Jack felt a sudden rush of heat that had nothing to do with the temperature in the kitchen, and held his breath until she pulled down the grater and handed it to him, unaware of the effect she'd just had on him.

"Thanks."

She gave him an odd look, wondering why he suddenly seemed breathless.

"Sure thing." She stepped back to the fridge to pull out the eggs. "Peppers? Onions?"

"You're the chef, Mrs. Claus. You decide." His voice was still a little off-kilter, but it wasn't as noticeable, now, although at the moment, he was forced to keep his back to her. "I'll eat anything you put in front of me."


	6. 06

He stayed in the kitchen while she cooked, making small talk about the evening they'd had and enjoying a chuckle over the costumes they were wearing – and especially the ones Daniel and Teal'c had worn. Jack hadn't managed to get a picture – there weren't any pockets for a camera in his Santa suit, but several of the staff at the orphanage had brought cameras with them, and Jack had promised himself that he'd seek out at least one copy of Teal'c in the elf outfit – although he wasn't sure he'd dare show it to anyone. The Jaffa would definitely kill him if he found out.

Sam put him to work making toast once the omelets were close to being done, and he stood hip to hip with her while she minded the stove, and he watched the toaster, but he still managed to engage in a conversation. His initial reaction to her closeness had taken him by surprise, but he was far more under control now. Even when she brushed his hand reaching for the spatula to turn the omelets.

"Plates." She ordered, pointing at the right cupboard.

Jack reached over and pulled a couple down, handing them to her. Then the toast popped up and he grabbed it. And promptly dropped the first slice.

"Ouch!"

"You okay?"

"Fine."

He scowled, popping his burnt finger in his mouth. Sam smiled.

"Want me to butter it?"

"I got it."

Now his scowl was directed at her, but it didn't even make the smile fade.

"You sure? I'd hate for you to come away scarred."

"Cute."

She snorted softly. _She_ thought she was.

Jack buttered the toast while Sam dished up their plates – giving him a far larger portion of the omelet than she gave herself – and then Jack topped the plates with the toast, and carried both plates to the table while she poured them each a cup of coffee.

"It looks great, Carter." He told her as they sat down.

She smiled.

"Thank you, Sir."

"How about Jack?"

"Hmm?"

"It's a holiday, right? We're not working. And we're not on base. Why don't you call me Jack? I won't tell anyone."

"Are you going to call me Sam?"

"Maybe."

"Fine. Jack."

"Thank you. Sam."

They shared a smile, and then Jack turned his attention to the meal, feeling that same old tension building up around them and hoping to diffuse it before it became uncomfortable for either of them.

"No Christmas plans with the family?" He asked her after a couple minutes of steady munching.

She shook her head.

"Mark's with his wife's family, and you know how dad is…"

"Yeah."

"What about you?"

He shook his head, shrugging.

"You know how things are with me… I think I'm just going to stop doing holidays…"

She couldn't help but feel a pang of sorrow, even though she knew he wasn't feeling sorry for himself, but she couldn't think of anything to say to that. Jack seemed to realize he'd made her uncomfortable, and he set his fork down.

"Of course… if I didn't do holidays, I'd probably miss out on presents…"

She looked at him surprised.

"How did you know I got you a present?"

"What?"

"How did you know that I have a present for you?" She repeated. "We didn't discuss gifts, I know…"

"You got me a present?"

"You just said that you'd miss out on getting presents if you didn't do holidays…"

He smiled.

"That's not what I said, Sam. I said I'd miss out on presents. I meant _giving_ presents. Would you like yours _now_? Or would you like to wait until tomorrow?"

"You got me a present?"

"You got me one?"

She nodded, and stood up, going into the living room and opening the closet. She disappeared for a moment, then pulled back and closed the door again. Now, though, she had a large brightly wrapped box in her hand, which she brought over and set down in front of him with a slightly shy smile.

"Open it."

He stared at the box for a moment and then smiled and stood up.

"I'll be right back."

His hand brushed the back of her neck as he passed her, and he headed for the door, slipping back into his boots and going outside. She sat at the table, munching on a piece of toast and waiting for him to come back. Which he did only moments later. And now he had a box in his hand as well. It was wrapped neatly – although there was just enough of a ratty edge to the wrapping that it gave her the impression that he'd wrapped it himself – and the bow was slightly off-center. He set it down in front of her.

"For you."

She smiled and started to reach for it, but then moved her hand away.

"Open yours first."

"Ladies first."

"It's _my_ house."

He grinned, and reached for his present, ripping it open. Inside was a chess set – the board made of black and white marble – and the pieces carved out of a similar material. It was absolutely gorgeous, and Jack pulled out the black king, admiring the details etched into the stone.

"It's beautiful Sam…" he said, obviously impressed, and deeply touched. Sam smiled in pleasure.

"I'm glad you like it."

"Thank you."

He set the king down and looked at her, his brown eyes soft and warm.

Sam's smile changed just a little as the tension that Jack noticed earlier returned in full. She felt her breath catching in her throat, and looked at him questioning, her tongue moistening lips suddenly gone dry. An action that Jack found irresistible. Unable to stop himself, he leaned over and brushed a gentle kiss against her lips – knowing even as he did it that he was crossing a line he shouldn't be anywhere near.


	7. 07

He drew back after the briefest of moments, an apology already forming in his mind although he was far too tongue-tied just then to say anything. His brown eyes met Sam's blue ones, and to his surprise, she smiled.

"I knew you'd like it," she murmured, caught up in the magic of that kiss.

"It's beautiful…"

She blushed, because she knew he wasn't talking about the chessboard. There was no denying the hunger in his gaze, although there was also a question. And one she knew she shouldn't answer. Instead, she tried to lighten the moment.

"I should have gotten you a breadmaker…"

He smiled; the spell broken, and pushed the wrapped gift he'd brought in from his truck in front of her.

"Open yours, now…"

She did as she was told, and took the box in hands that were trembling just a little. Unwrapping the present was simple enough – he'd done a lousy job of wrapping it – and a moment later she was pulling her gift out of the box. It made a soft tinkling noise as she did so, and continued making noises as she pulled it completely out and unwrapped the soft gift papers that protected it.

"Oh, God…"

It was a wind chime. A beautifully decorated wind chime that was made of silver and turquoise, with delicate metal waves along the bottom and three dolphins in various stags of leaping from the water. She stared at it for a long moment, feeling a stinging in her eyes and was forced to sniff to keep her nose from dripping.

"You hate it?"

Sam looked at him, and knew from the gleam in his brown eyes that he knew she didn't hate it.

"It's…" she couldn't even find words. Holding up with one hand, she touched one of the dolphins, causing it to strike gently against one of the metal waves. The sounds was exquisite. "How did you…?"

"Know that you collect dolphins and wind chimes?"

She smiled.

"Yeah…"

"It's a secret…"

"Colonel…"

"_Jack_." He reminded her.

"Jack."

"It's a _secret_… Colonels only…"

"If you don't tell me, I'll be forced to tell Teal'c it was your idea to dress him up in a Mrs. Claus outfit."

"You wouldn't."

"Try me."

He relented.

"I asked your dad the last time I saw him."

"When? I didn't see you pull him aside…"

Jack shrugged, "It might have been the time before that… or maybe the time before that… I don't remember, really."

"When?" She pressed, looking from him back to the wind chime.

"August."

"_August_?"

He shrugged again, trying to seem like it was no big deal – although it meant so much to Sam that he was hard-pressed to hide his pleasure at her enjoyment of the gift.

"I like to plan ahead…"

"You were thinking about what to get me for Christmas in August?"

Her smile was brilliant, and exclusively for him. She leaned over and kissed him, not even thinking about it until she'd actually done it.

Once more the contact between them was electric, and this time Jack couldn't help himself – he leaned towards her, deepening the kiss before she could pull back. At the moment, though, pulling away was the absolute last thing on her mind. Sam felt herself melting against him, which coincided with the flush of heat that coursed through her entire body, and she felt his hands coming around her, holding her even closer as the kiss deepened.

Sam moaned in pleasure, her hand sliding under the t-shirt he'd been wearing under the Santa jacket, sliding up along his flat stomach and then his chest.

"Jack…"

Her voice was filled with hunger and need, and it was that need that cut through his own desire, and reminded him exactly where he was and who he was with. He pulled back – even though it was the last thing he wanted to do, his brown eyes filled with want, but also chagrin at how easily he'd allowed himself to lose control. He moved his hand – how had one of them slid so easily up under her shirt as if it had a mind of its own?

He tried to think of something to say… something that would tell her what he felt, but also explain to her that they couldn't let things-

She interrupted his thoughts by pulling her hand out from under his shirt, her cheeks flushed although she didn't know if it was from the heat of the moment, or from embarrassment at her reaction to his kiss. Of course, judging from his ragged breathing – and the fact that his hand was just sliding out from under her shirt – he felt the same way she did.

"So…"

He cleared his throat and tried again.

"You like it, huh?"

She smiled, grateful to him for not saying something that would make her feel stupid.

"It's beautiful."

"So are you, Sam…" He took her hand in his, and his eyes caught hers and held them. "I better go."

It was the last thing she wanted to hear – even though she knew he was right. What had they been thinking? Still, before she could agree, she heard herself disagreeing.

"You can stay…"

"If I stay, something will happen…" he told her, regretfully. "And as much as I'd love to have that happen…"

"It'd be a mistake…" she finished, just as regretfully.

He nodded, and couldn't help but pull her into his arms, kissing her cheek softly before he pulled away.

"A wonderful mistake…"

She stood up when he did, and he put his arm around her as he walked to the door, then he started putting his boots on.

"The wind chime is beautiful. Thank you."

"The chess set is even better."

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

He nodded, a slight smile on his face, and barely able to keep himself from pulling her into his arms and kissing her again.

"We'll break in the chess set."

"I'll beat you."

He smiled, and touched her cheek gently, then reached for his jacket.

"I look forward to it. See you tomorrow, okay?"

She nodded.

"Bye…"

"Bye."

He turned and left, and Sam sighed heavily as the door closed behind him.


	8. 08

"Jack O'Neill, you're the dumbest man that ever walked the face of this planet – or all those other planets…"

It was about the hundredth time he'd said that to himself since he'd left her house, his body aching and his mind about as distracted as he'd ever been. Luckily there weren't any other cars out on the road, now, because he would have been hard-pressed to watch the rest of the traffic and the distraction could have been enough to cause an accident.

What had he been thinking, kissing her like that? He knew better. He knew it was going to be perfect and that she'd be hard to resist once he'd had a taste of her sweet lips. Only he hadn't realized just how difficult it was going to be until he'd actually pulled away and left.

"Stupid…"

He whacked his palm against the steering wheel, the pain of the motion jarring his thoughts from her for only the briefest of moments. God, she was beautiful. So soft, and warm, and… perfect. He was so tempted to turn around and go back to her house that his foot actually went from the gas pedal to the brake before he managed to stop himself and keep driving home.

"No… you're going to go home. You're going to go home, and you're going to take a shower – a cold, cold, cold shower – and then you're going to go to bed and forget about what you're thinking…"

He knew better than that, but by repeating it over and over, he did manage to make it home. He pulled into his driveway and turned off the truck, and then sat there for a long time, staring at the steering wheel in the light of the streetlight. Finally, it grew too cold, and he was forced to go inside – a Santa jacket is more for display than actual warmth, after all – and he got out of the truck, and headed for the door, shivering.

"Stupid…"

He knew where he'd be right now if he'd stayed at her house – and it wasn't on his front porch in baggy Santa pants.

He sighed, and forced himself to go inside. Tossing his keys on the stand by the door he kicked off his boots and shrugged out of the jacket, hanging it up so it wouldn't wrinkle.

"Stupid…"

He grabbed up the remote control as he was walking through the living room and flipped on the TV, and promptly saw a commercial that showed a very heated kiss between a couple in front of a fireplace.

"Stupid…"

He turned the TV off, and went into the kitchen. The fridge was fairly empty – Carter knew him too well – but there were a few beers in it, and he pulled one out, twisting off the cap and tossing it on the counter. He took a pull at the bottle and saw his reflection in the dark window. Yup, that man looking at him was the dumbest man on the planet.

"Crap."

There were a lot of good reasons for leaving like that – and he couldn't think of any of them just then. Still grumbling to himself, he went into his bedroom and pulled off the Santa pants. Yeah, those kids sure did a number on them – a _number 1_, luckily – because they were messed up. That was another reason to leave. Sam wouldn't want to spend any length of time with a guy who would eventually start smelling like stale urine. Kids were cute, but pee… well, not even _kid_ pee was cute.

He didn't bother to get dressed. He was going to take a shower, anyways, so he pulled off the t-shirt and his boxers and headed down the hall for the bathroom, stopping just long enough to grab a clean towel.

"Stupid…"

He didn't take a cold shower. Jack hated being cold, and really, ice water wasn't going to do anything about just how frustrated he felt just then. He turned the water on as hot as he could handle it, got under the spray and reached for the soap. He wondered what Carter was doing just then. Probably, he thought with a pleased smile, she'd already found the perfect place to hang up her new wind chime and might even be looking at it. Maybe she was even thinking of him. He put his face into the spray, closing his eyes tight as the water coursed around him, the force of it stinging but feeling good at the same time. Probably thinking about how stupid he was, he thought to himself as he lathered himself up and started rinsing off. Stupid. Should have stayed where he was. She wanted him to. He wanted him to.

But that was just a heat of the moment thing, and he knew it. Now that they'd both had time to cool off a bit – a chance to push the kisses aside and think clearly – they both would know it was for the best. Who was _he_ kidding? He still wasn't thinking clearly. The kiss had been almost an hour ago, and it was still fresh in his mind. Just as fresh as the feeling of having her right up against him, her hand under his shirt, pressing against his chest.

Jack groaned, and turned off the hot water, ruthlessly. Then gasped as a blast of cold hit him. He managed to stay under the spray for maybe ten seconds before he turned the warm water back on, but it had been enough of a distraction that he wasn't quite as-

The doorbell sounded, echoing through the house – even into the bathroom. Jack turned the water off, listening. The doorbell? He looked at his watch; it was after 11. Santa came down the chimney, and everyone else was probably in bed. He couldn't have heard the doorbell.

It chimed again.

"Sonofabitch."

He didn't even have any clothes. Stepping out of the shower and grabbing his towel, he wrapped it around his waist and headed for the door. It had to be important. He couldn't think of any reason anyone could be at his door so late on Christmas Eve. Maybe one of the neighbors needed something? If they did, then it was an emergency, because they usually kept more or less to themselves. With one hand holding his towel firmly in place, he opened the door. And couldn't help but stare.

"Carter."

"_Sam_."

She reminded him with a nervous smile. A smile that turned even more nervous when she realized how he was dressed. Or undressed. He was soaking wet, with soap in some spots and his hair plastered to his head, looking surprised, but not annoyed. Which was good. Because she was already nervous.

"Sam…"

She stepped past him and into his house, and he closed the door behind her.

"I was just…"

"In the shower?" She asked, her nervous smile turning into a grin.

He looked down at himself, and then at her.

"Yeah."

"You left your beard at my place…"

She handed him the beard and wig from his costume, which he took with his free hand.

"I… thanks…"

"I know, you could have picked them up tomorrow when you came by," she said. She took a deep breath. "But…"

He felt his heart skip a beat as their eyes met again. There was no hiding the want in hers and the way he was dressed just then, there was no way he could hide what she did to him.

"Sam…"

He leaned forward, dropping the wig and beard on the floor and using his free hand to tilt her chin up, giving him perfect access to her lips. Lips he'd been thinking of for the past hour. Lips that parted slightly as he pressed his own against them.

She took the half-step forward that was all that was needed to close the gap between their bodies and slid her hand along his ribs, feeling the warmth of his skin from his shower, and the slickness of the soap. And heard a groan rumble in his chest at the contact.

There was no denying that he was just as affected as she was, and never had she been so glad she'd done something as crazy as coming to his house in the middle of the night to continue the conversation they'd cut off so abruptly. She smiled into their kiss, and he pulled away, but only an inch or so.

"We shouldn't…"

"But we're going to, right?" she asked, her eyes locked on his, and her voice barely a whisper.

He nodded. There was no way he was going to send her away. Nothing could have forced him to break away from her twice in one night, and now he was certain that she wanted him as badly as he wanted her. Otherwise she wouldn't have come looking for him and he knew it.

He'd be stupid to send her away. And he _wasn't_ stupid.

**The End!**

_Ha! So no one died. No one was hurt. Not even one trip to the infirmary! Let me know what you thought, though._


End file.
